If your child recently qualified for Special Education, you may feel a little overwhelmed trying to understand how the system works. This process is full of legal jargon and acronyms, complicated timelines, and a ton of paperwork. The great news is, with a little bit of work and the right resources, you can learn everything you need to be a great advocate for your child and support their teachers.
(Are you an educator who wants to help families get ready for their first IEP meeting? Request a sample of our IEP Welcome Kit.)
Here are 5 things to do before your first IEP meeting to manage this process with ease.
- Learn the basics before you get started
- Know that you are a key part of your child’s team
- Ask questions
- Approach with curiosity
- Build your relationships before the meeting
#1 Learn the basics before you get started.
Special Education is guided by a law called IDEA, or the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. IDEA says that students with qualifying disabilities have the right to a free, appropriate public education (FAPE) that meets their needs.
If the school has evaluated your child and found that they qualify for Special Education, the team (which includes you!) will meet to develop an IEP.
An IEP, or Individualized Education Program, is a legal agreement between you and your child’s school. This plan serves as an outline of the services and accommodations your child will get in order to be successful in school. IEPs may include services like:
- Speech Therapy or Occupational Therapy
- Support for emotional needs
- One-on-one instruction with learning specialists
- Help with devices like communication boards or hearing aids
- Other supports that will help your child learn and make progress.
Tip: Look up any terms and acronyms you don’t know in our Special Education Glossary.
#2 Know that you are a key part of your child’s team
You are a member of the IEP team. This is a legal right included in IDEA, but it’s also really important to your child’s success.
If you’re not an educator, it can be hard to speak up about your child’s needs.
But here’s what we see when families go to IEP meetings, get to know their child’s teachers, and share information about their child:
- Teachers are better able to meet the child’s needs
- Families learn more about how to support their child’s learning at home
- Children make more progress and are more likely to pass standardized tests, graduate, and continue their education.
Even if you feel intimidated, your participation matters. You know your child best.
Knowledgeable, engaged parents are their child’s best advocate!
#3 Ask questions
The more you understand about the process, the more you can participate. And that means you may need to ask questions – sometimes, MANY questions.
If you don’t understand something in the draft IEP, the evaluation reports, or something about the Special Ed process, don’t be afraid to ask. It might feel like you’re slowing things down, but the school – and your child – both benefit when you understand the conversation.
If IEP meetings tend to feel rushed, or if you are more comfortable asking your questions outside of an IEP meeting, reach out to your child’s team before the meeting. Either way, write your questions down so you can get them all answered.
#4 Approach with curiosity
We’ve all heard stories about IEP meetings that have gone badly. Schools and families are both juggling a lot, and it happens. But it makes things hard on everyone involved.
Even if other people in your district have told you their stories, your child’s IEP is about your child. You have a chance to set the tone for the relationship by leading with curiosity, rather than accusations or assumptions about what the school team is thinking.
When you state your concerns as questions or an opening to a discussion, instead of as a complaint or accusation, and enlist the team in finding a solution, tension becomes collaboration.
| Instead of this… | Try this: |
| “My child has a right to these services and you are not providing them” | “I believe my child needs these services to make progress, but they are not happening right now. How can we get something like this into place for them?” |
| “I don’t understand why you aren’t meeting my child’s needs” | “My child hasn’t really been getting their needs met. What can we do?” |
| “My child is staring at the wall all day because she’s bored and no one is doing anything about it!” | “I know my child wants to learn but she’s staring at the wall all day. What do you think is going on?” |
#5 Build relationships before the meeting
Get to know your child’s team before you head to an IEP meeting. Your child’s teachers spend hours with them each week. The more you know about how they operate and who they are, the better you’ll be able to communicate if things get difficult. And when the team gets to know you and sees that you are showing up for them and for the school, that builds their good will towards you too.
Here are some great ways to get to know the team:
- Show up at school events
- Introduce yourself and your child by email
- Go out of your way to say hi when you pick up your child
- Send quick, friendly responses to classroom updates
- Ask the teacher if they need classroom supplies
- Volunteer as a field trip chaperone if you are available.
- Send a quick note through the classroom app telling the teacher about something your child learned and told you about.
When people know and trust each other, they are more likely to give each other grace and flexibility. And these really matter at the IEP table.
Try these 5 tips before you head to your first IEP meeting. They have never failed us.
Learn more:
- How do I partner with the school to support my child?
- My child is in Special Education. What should I know about IDEA?
- How does a child qualify for an IEP? What you need to know about the disability categories recognized under IDEA
- What is an IEP and what purpose does it serve?
- Preparing for an IEP meeting
- Your child’s Individualized Education Plan: IEP sections explained
