It’s unavoidable: social media ads. Signs in the store showing smiling groups of kids with backpacks on. Your inbox filling up with emails from teachers and school administrators. It’s officially Back-to-School season. How do we help our kids manage their back-to-school anxiety? I’ll start with the advice of my 10-year-old.
“Don’t overthink it.”
Easy for him to say. He’s 10 and he’s now an experienced time-to-go-back-to-school kid. It was not always like that. Even though he doesn’t remember the details of the early days of school in the early years (I sure as heck do), his advice serves as a reminder to us as parents that we are already doing the work to prepare our kids for this transition. No matter your journey, your family has experienced transitions. Some are bigger than others and some are harder than others. Back-to-school is a life transition. So, let’s do what we can to ease our children’s anxiety while remembering that we know our kids. We have these tools and we’ve got this. We can go back to what we already know helps our children.
Start by remembering what has worked in the past.
Does your child like to have a visual schedule? Do they like to look at photos or read a social story to help familiarize themselves with an upcoming event or activity? Maybe they want to ask you the same questions over and over again – this is how some kids cope with nervous feelings. If your child wants, these questions might be something you include when you introduce your child to their teacher.
Ease the transition by breaking it down into steps.
Think about what the transition to school means in your family. Will there be a change from summer schedules? Which of these changes can be hard for your child – being out of the house all day? A new lunchbox, new shoes, or itchy tags in new clothes? When you break it down to specifics, you can do a bit at a time to help lessen the load and the changes. Maybe you start a bedtime/wake-up routine a bit ahead of time. See if you can get up and out those last days of summer so the shock of the early school day is less shocking. Wash and have your child wear new clothes before school starts if they struggle with sensory issues so they know they will be comfortable when they start.
Anticipate what may be asked of your child in those first few days.
For younger ones, this could be forming a line, exploring the play structure, or sitting on a carpet. Maybe it’s putting things into a cubby and zipping up their jacket, or sharing something they did over the summer. Take the opportunity to practice one or two things before the start of the school year to help build your child’s confidence. A conversation in the car or at the table remembering a few summer adventures may help keep that information available for your child when they need to access it.
And finally, feel all the feels.
When you are running around trying to get the clothes sorted and the food prepared and your child is asking you that same question for the umpteenth time or is acting out for no apparent reason, take pause and remember you are both feeling some stress. Let your child know you can imagine how scary this must be for them to start a new year with new friends or a new teacher. Remind them of the things you know, the tools you have. Remind them you are a team, and you’ve got this.
