Earlier this month I watched my daughter give the student speech in American Sign Language to her class of more than 500 students. She graduated with a college acceptance letter in hand and earned the state’s highest award for mastery of two languages.
Most parents feel a sense of wonder when they watch their child walk across the stage to get a diploma. We spend years worrying about when they’ll walk, if they will make friends, get their homework done, and make smart choices about drugs and the internet. And how can they possibly live with their room in that state?
But for those of us whose kids have disabilities or extra challenges, these celebrations can feel like a miracle.
When I met my daughter 16 years ago, she was a Deaf toddler who had no access to language.
She desperately wanted to communicate. The first time she stayed overnight at our house, she went home with a half dozen signs. Learning language was a steep road for her, and the impact of that early language deprivation still shapes her today.
But at 18, she is now a high school graduate and also an accomplished baker, thanks to her school’s Culinary Arts program.
After her graduation, we talked about the “ingredients” that helped her grow from that language-deprived toddler into a college-bound high school graduate.
Deaf adults who generously shared their lived experiences, advice, and pride in their language and culture with her and with us;
A public school system that recognized that she would learn best in an out-of-district placement rich in American Sign Language and Deaf role models;
The availability of skilled ASL interpreters who made it possible for her to participate in dance, theater, and academic competitions;
Teachers who saw her fierce intelligence and challenged her to be her best and to advocate for herself;
A school with a genuine commitment to accessibility and inclusion;
Parents and school staff who worked together for years, staying in touch about everything from a stuffy nose to 3-year evaluations.
My daughter will continue to face challenges. There will always be people who question why they need to provide accommodations, who underestimate her intelligence or ability, or who make assumptions about her because she’s Deaf.
But right now, with her diploma fresh in hand, I’m thinking about how many people, supports, and opportunities came together to help her succeed.
Every kid with a disability or any extra challenges deserves the same. Let’s work together to make sure they get it.
Read more:
What I want hearing people to know about Deaf people, by Lucy, age 12
Life after the IEP: How do I help my child with a disability transition to adulthood?
Planning the transition to adulthood for youth with disabilities
